What do I wear.....? To cover this

What do I wear to cover the pain I feel inside when I am going to church?

Will the long skirt covering my knees cover the pain?

The pain of rejection because of the fact that I got my baby at 14?

Will the cape on my shoulders cover the fact that I am dying inside?

Dying every day from the fact that I am still in this marriage for the kids and worry

Of what the community is going to think of me  if I leave?

Will these starched garments cover my wounds?

What do I wear?

What do I wear when I go to work?

Can this suit hide the sadness from the fact that I am being abused at home?

Will it cover the fear I have, that I might get back home to a crying daughter who’ll tell me that

“Mama, my teacher raped me”

Can this work uniform cover the anxiety I have on reaching the target this month, because if I don’t

I might lose the job; I won’t be able to feed my kids.

What do I wear?

What do I wear in order to convince this hopeless person that it will be well?

The Designer dress that I am wearing does not convince her/him enough

My confidence when I talk only tells her/him that I am just trying to be nice

I try to give her/him a hug, but all she/he thinks is “Don’t ever think your happiness is contagious”

So what do I wear?

What attire would you recommend to me to put on when I still feel filthy after the rape?

Two decades ago.

Which garment would ever convince the community that I am not a killer, he wanted to rape my daughter, I had to protect her?

What kind of clothes would I wear to wipe my tears from the eyes of the woman whose heart I broke years ago, what clothes would ever convince her how sorry I am?

What do you think I should wear?

What do I wear so that I look like I’ve got it together too?

When in actual fact inside, I’m a total wreck, a complete mess.

When I am sitting right here, and feeling like I do not fit in?

When I hold my head high, walking in these stilettos but my knees wants to let me down

What do I wear, because even if I try to wear a smile, it fades?

Now tell me, what do I wear?

By: Nombuyiselo Pamla